The Legend of Link and the Dentist
by GodOVWar
Summary: Oneshot. how will Link react to a trip to the dentist? will he survive?...probably not. MUHAHA


The Legend of Link and the Dentist

Link sat on the playground swing looking around desperately for some excuse to get out of his dreaded dentist appointment. "Link!" shouted a far-off voice from the smash mansion porch "it's time to leave for your appointment!"

"Oh crap." Link panicked and tried to jump off the swing only to have his shirt get caught dragging him to the ground on his face. "AAAHHHGAGAGA, think think think!" Link ripped out of his shirt and made a mad dash for the forest only to ram into Marth. "Come on Link it's gonna be fine, your gonna have an awesomely awesome time!" Marth exclaimed into Links ugly face. "Awesomely awesome is not a proper phrase usage Marth, and you're a bit close for comfort." Link tried to back away from Marth.

"The last time I went to the dentist I had a great time." Marth said ignoring Links last statement.

"That's because you're totally gay Marth." Link struggled against him.

"What does being gay have anything to do wit- HEY I AM NOT GAY!" Marth protested shoving Link hard toward the mansion door.

"Yeah yeah sure Marth." Link smirked

"I AM NOT and besides I'm not the one walkin around half nakey!"

"GRRRR" They drew their weapons and were about to murder each other when Zelda screamed "LINK, MARTH, knock it off!"

Marth skidded to his butt and link flipped over him head first and landed on his face. "Stop this crap NOW before I get princess peach!" Zelda glared. That statement alone was enough to put the whole mansion to silence. Zelda glared one last time before turning to leave.

"Now if you wouldn't mind Marth, get off of me so I can get ready!" Link screamed in his face.

"Ewwwwwww your breath smells bad." Marth plugged his nose

"SHUT IT" and with that link stammered off to get a new shirt.

15 Minutes later

"Do you need Mr. Fluffums to comfort you?" Ike asked Link teasingly.

"What?" Link asked confused at Ike's sudden question.

"Your little stuffed ape of course," Ike answered on the verge of cracking up. LITERALLY CRACKING UP OMG…..jk.

"NO! IKE you promised to never speak of that again!" Link yelled angrily.

"I said id never speak of it, I never said I wouldn't do it now PREPARE YOURSELF." Ike stated.

"That doesn't even make any sense!" Link was getting angry with him.

"Did you know…?" Ike said cutting his sentence short.

"Know what Ike?"

"You didn't know! I can't believe you link!" Ike yelled randomly

"KNOW WHAT" link screamed desperately in need of an anger management pill.

"That I …fight for my friends." Ike finished

"Ok ya know what, I'm just gonna walk away now. Bye" Link stormed out to the car.

"Someone fooorgot to take their HaaaAAApy pill this moorrning." Ike said in an odd sing song voice.

10 mins later.

"Buckle up cuz I ain't goin easy on you this time." Falco said starting the car.

"Why does falco get to drive?" snake asked nobody in particular in an annoyed voice.

"Because im better than you that's why now zip it!" Falco yelled back at him.

"NO, Last time you drove you nearly gave pit a heart attack, not that I care one bit for pit, NOW MOVE!"

"…hey" Pit mumbled from the back seat, WHERE HE BELONGS.

Falco and snake tried to tackle each other but Samus managed to fling them out the window. "That settles it, their not coming and I'M driving." Samus said with a no-back-talk look as she hopped into the drivers' seat.

Link was in a very angry mood; he crossed his arm and slunk down in his seat trying to formulate an epic escape plan from this dreaded car that was carrying him to the dentist.

Samus began to back out when the car hit a HUGE lump in the driveway. "Samus, you ran over Luigi AGAIN!" Peach yelled.

"Well, how was I supposed to know he was being an idiot and sun tanning in the driveway again!" Samus said totally ignoring the situation and continued backing out.

45 minutes later

"OH Heck no you won't get me in there for a ZILLION Eggo waffles *_man i love those things*_, Na ah NOT me!" Link shouted bracing himself on the car door frame as the others tried to drag him out.

"Hey Link there's a ZILLION Eggos in there!" Fox bribed.

"Really?" Link let go of the car and ran into the dentists' office causing everyone to fly backwards onto the pavement. "And he said that wouldn't work." Fox gloated. Pit started cracking up.

"What ARE you laughing at?" fox asked confused.

"I have absolutely no idea!" Pit then skipped into the dentists' office.

"Oooooook creeeper." Fox said weirded out.

"There are no egos in here! LIARS" Link shouted throughout the building.

"Pipe down Link" Peach said shushing him. "This isn't a library PEACH, and the worst part about this place is the….the THE THE FLYING HOBOS! AHH" Link screamed and dived under a chair. Meta Knight and Toon Link just shrugged.

"Flying hobos?" pit asked on the verge of laughing.

"Why, Don't you see them too! OH NO the dentist is even worse than I thought im going DELUSIONAL!" "You could count as a flying hobo pit! You look like one you winged FREAK!" Link yelled insanely.

Pit looked surprised "oh I see how it is… you're a racist! You Dislike people with wings! Is that it, HUH!" Pit practically roared.

"SHUT UP" everyone stared at Peach who just screamed shut up in an unusually manly voice. "Thank you" she said sweetly and opened her magazine. "Oh and someone get Link out from under that chair please, thanks." She went back to her magazine once again.

Link faced outside from under the chair scared to death, but when he saw the Marth face staring back at him he almost went into a fit of shear terror. "Hello Link, I was sent to drag you out, hopefully I don't break any nails."

"No go away Marth you smell like a girl"

"There is something to be said! I am not a gay, or a girl!" Marths protest was cut short by Link smacking him lightly on the hand. ….. "MY MANICURE, AHHH OWW AMBULANCE OMG omg omg like OMG LINK HURT ME AHH THE PAIN!" Marth shrieked causing the FBI to arrive and take him away.

Moments later

"Link?"

When Link heard his name called he nearly ran through the wall if it hadn't been for wolf who caught him and dragged him by his hair to the back. And of course Link had to be strapped to the chair. Link had no choice but to sit there and wait for his torture for this surly was his death sentence. To his surprise Ike walked in.

"Ike you're the dentist?" Link was clearly confused and agitated, and terrified, and weirded out, and surprised, and blonde, and…. You get the point. "Yup I just got hired today, right this minute."

"Crap…."

"Now open wide this will only take about hmmm 2 days at the least."

"WHA- "Link started but was cut off by Ike prying his mouth open with the end of his sword. "Oh, and don't worry I've had plenty of practice with jabbing my sword in peoples mouths."

"Pwactice on hoo?" Link blurted out his open mouth

"Myself mostly of course, I use my sword to brush my teeth at night."

"Now shut up and tell me what flavor tooth paste you want, we have burnt toast, seaweed, prune juice, which will it be?"

"EWW!" Link protested

"I TOLD U TO SHUT UP..Ohhhh, ok Marth flavored it is." Ike began to rubb toothpaste on his sword.

Link grimaced the last thing he wanted was to have nasty Marth flavor in his mouth, But it was too late Ike jabbed his sword in Links mouth and started brushing.

After 2 days of excruciating Marth flavored sword brushing.

Link returned home swearing to himself that next time there won't be a next time, and he'd probably need to make up an escape plan ahead of time, and Write it down, and make the escape plan work, which was rare for him. And what the heck were Zelda, Pit, Peach, Fox, Wolf, Meta Knight, Toon Link, Samus, and Ike Doing there with him anyway.

THE END


End file.
